Can you have a relationship with a meat-eater?

Can you have a relationship with a Meat-eater?

Breaking news! Not everyone is a vegHead (yet). There are still people in this world who eat meat, which means it is still possible to fall in love with, or continue to love, a meat-eater after you become a vegHead. What should you do if you’re in love with a meat-eater? Can you have a relationship with a meat eater without being a hypocrite? How can that relationship last?

First thing’s first.
Get over what other people think of you. The vegan and vegetarian communities are getting more and more judgmental towards each other (this is especially evident if you watch some of the more famous YouTube vegans and vegetarians). Remember why you went vegHead in the first place, whether it was for your own health or your love for animals. You’re doing your part, regardless of the initial reason you gave up meat. Don’t let what anyone else may think about your life affect how you live. They don’t have to look in the mirror and see your reflection staring back at them – you do.

Can you hold your partner to a vegHead standard without being a bitch?
I know there are tons of people out there that could never be with someone who eats meat. I’ve even heard of people breaking up with their partners after becoming vegHeads because their partners didn’t want to convert to a plant-based diet. Are those people wrong for holding their partners to the same dietary and/or moral standards they set for themselves? Absolutely not.

If the fact that your partner eats meat disturbs you to the point that you can no longer be with them, it’s okay to separate. If you could never date someone who smiles at dead flesh on their dinner plate, don’t date a meat eater. You don’t need to read this article to know that. After all, there are people in the world that cannot and will not be with someone because of their religious beliefs, political beliefs, or even their lack of funky dance moves (of which I have none). You do what feels right to you, because you’re the one who has to wake up next to them every morning.

What if you just can’t say good-bye to your beef-eating bae? How can that relationship work?
Welcome to my world. Hey, how you doin’?

I’ve been pretty open about my dislike for the taste of meat my entire life. I left the table hungry when I refused to eat the meat put in front of me as a child, snuck meat to my dogs when I was older, and spooned the pieces of chicken off my plate and onto my boyfriend’s plate as an adult. (Because I’m classy like that.)

I still ate meat  a couple times a year, but I didn’t become an openly Fit & Fancy VegHead until last year. I hadn’t had meat in a long time, but I decided to finally put a label to my meat-hating ways back in 2014. It’s been 7 months since I “came out” to my family and my grandparents still think I going to die any day now from a lack of protein.

I had been with my boyfriend, Jonathan, for a year or two prior to openly cutting out meat from my diet. My decision to become a vegHead didn’t surprise him, since he was the one on the receiving end of me spooning my food onto someone else’s plate. He understood my decision and even agreed to try the lifestyle for a while. He gave it his best shot, 5 months, several awesome and not so awesome fake meat substitutes, and 10 extra pounds. He told me about his meat cravings when he had them and almost never gave in. Then last month he confessed he didn’t want to continue to omit meat from his diet, but he did want to reduce the meat and dairy he previously consumed to once or twice a week.

Was I crushed? Did I give up on him, like he gave up on my lifestyle? The lack of ex- in front of his title should have been your first clue. I still love that man-child and we are still together.

To me, the fact that he tried it for several months before deciding a vegetarian lifestyle wasn’t for him is enough. Yes, there is dead rotting flesh in my refrigerator (far away from my fresh veggies and fruit); there are times my house smells like cooked meat; and I am grossed out at what he likes to eat. But I love him and I’m not willing to end our relationship over one aspect of our lives. Honestly, that’s what this issue comes down to.

Is your [future] relationship worth one aspect of your life?
I can’t answer that for you in this article. Again, you are the only person who can answer this question for yourself.

As far as I’m concerned, being a vegetarian does not define who I am. I still think the same as I always have, still have the same personality, and my friends are all the same (most of them eat meat). I still love the same man-child, and I don’t plan on changing our relationship because we have different dietary tastes and tolerances for the meat and dairy industry.

This is my decision for my life. You can make up your own mind on what works for you. I’m just here to let you know it can be done.

 

Are you in a vegHead/meat-eater relationship and want more tips on how to make it work? What’s your opinion on this type of relationship? Let me know in the comments.

Do I have to become an activist to be a Vegan or Vegetarian?

activistYes, that’s right, you do have to become an active activist to be a vegan or a vegetarian. Burn your bras, ladies! Always have an arsenal of red paint filled balloons to throw on random passersby wearing fur. If you see a small child walking their toy poodle you better release the beast and preach the absurdity of leashing a wild animal while simultaneously urging the little beasty to leave its tiny oppressive human and run free (but also away from traffic). VegHeads unite!

And now back to reality for a bit. To answer this questions seriously (because I was kidding in the previous paragraph), you DO NOT have to become an active activist to be a vegan or a vegetarian.

What do I mean by active activist? Well there are two definitions of the word “active,” one that’s the typical idea of actively active and another that’s more passively active according to the all-knowing Google. The more actively active definition means to be engaged in action; characterized by energetic work, participation, etc; busy. The actively passive definition refers to being in a state of existence, progress, or motion.

So the way I see it, by simply deciding to go either vegan or vegetarian, you are automatically a passively active activist. You are in a state of existence, progress, or motion against the cruelty of animals by making the choice to not support the meat, leather, and dairy industries yourself. You can stop there. You don’t have to do anything else, because you’re already saving lives.

If you do want to become an active activist, by all means go for it. Do the research on animal cruelty and nutrition, fill your Facebook page full of anti-animal abuse photos, give only vegan recipe books and Vitamixes to your friends and family for holidays and for God’s sake don’t wear fur. (Because you look ridiculous dressed up as Sasquatch.)

I don’t consider myself to be an active activist. My family, friends, boyfriend, and co-workers do not listen to me preach about animal cruelty and why they should become a vegHead too. Why? There’s 3 main reasons for this.

  1. While I love the little beasties of the world, I also understand that people have to make up their own minds about this lifestyle. Deciding to go against every “fact” about nutrition you were lied to about taught is a huge decision. No one should feel pressured to join any cause. There’s thousands of articles, videos, eloquent public speeches and advertisements in the world exposing animal cruelty and promoting a vegHead lifestyle. People know what’s going on. We live in a world of endless answers at our fingertips, so anyone telling you they don’t already know what’s going on with animals is lying. If after all these resources thrown in their faces people still choose to turn a blind eye and support these industries, they are a lost cause. I don’t like wasting my energy and time preaching to the self-inflicted deaf.
  2. I am not entirely eloquent when I speak. I’m short, have a high-pitched voice, and turn really red when I get into headed debates. Not many people can take a combination like this seriously, which is why I started a blog instead of a YouTube channel.
  3. I’m a Christian (surprise!) and fully believe in preaching by example. I want people to see how healthy I am, how much energy I have, and see how much peace of mind I get by not eating meat. Then I want them to be damn jealous of me. When people see all these great affects from my lifestyle I want them to want the same thing for themselves. I think people learn the best by seeing first and then doing. Isn’t that how we all learned in school anyway? Aren’t you more likely to want to wear some crazy fashion trend your close friends and family are into than the uniform you’re forced to wear at school? Hell yeah.

You won’t ever see me throwing paint on fur-wearing pedestrians and there won’t be any articles on why meat eaters should convert or die on this blog (unless it’s an article about health and I’m talking about actually dying from clogged arteries, etc.).

This lifestyle blog is about as actively active as I get with my activism. You don’t have to start a blog yourself. If you are thinking of making the choice to stop eating meat, but don’t want to be an active activist for the cause, do not let the idea that you need to be that way deter you from this lifestyle. There are far too many people turned off from this lifestyle by the elitist, snobby, rude stigmas that vegans and vegetarians are linked to. As long as you want to go vegHead, do it. You do your part and let the rest of the world catch up to your awesomeness.